We Need No Religion

Edit Post: The text going to follow is the reproduction of what I gave as a persuasive speech. I wanted to write something on the same lines for quite a long time. Writing about something, which you truly believe gives you a high for sure.

(Also, there is some problem with indentations and font,will rectify later,bear for the time being)

Neanderthal Hunter was the most uncomplicated form of human life. He was naked and so were his needs, to the bare minimum, almost transparent. But, as man progressed tearing across human limitations and boundaries, not only did he find new ways to comfort himself, he exchanged it by making his life much more convoluted.

When Man first discovered fire, he was neither a Ram, Jesus nor Mohammed. He was what he actually is. A mechanical assemblage of parts meant to be dictated by his own needs and desire, not by some mythical dogma. When he roasted the food for the first time and raised all of us to a new pedestal, he was doing what he is best at. WORK. I have always believed that faith makes a man strong. But, the way in which religion has been distorted, couldn’t be far from disturbing, which makes me question the existence of the same. Why do we need Religion? The answer, is pretty simple,

WE NEED NO RELIGION

Have you seen a transition of faith to fanaticism, from beliefs to bullshit? Well! This world has,oflate. INDIA, the land of GREAT CULTURE and HERITAGE is also a land of mother of all double standards, is also a land of illogical Customs and practices

Let’s face it,Religion is this country's favorite pastime. There are debates on Taj Mahal belonged to whom?Shah Jahan or a hindu king?Was it taj mahal or tejo mahal?The answer is, does it really matter? Beauty is not a function of religion.Period.Some years back, there was another argument of the same kind, regarding ayudhya.Was it the land of Hindus or Muslims.What does ayudhya deserve? Ram Mandir or Babri Masjid. I say ,none.If I had my way, I would bombard each and every temple,mosque,church,gurudwara.EACH ONE OF THEM. Wipe everything from the face of this earth that tries differentiating one man from another. And what do we do instead? On the same land, we will build hospitals, schools for children, set up free medical camps. As a DEVELOPING nation, we don't need ostentatious temple like Akshardam,we don't want morons giving crores of rupees to sidhivinayak when thousands of their countrymen die silent deaths on the cold pavement.

As said before, faith is and SHOULD not be a function of pompousness.Our society doesn't need zealots; it needs sensible human beings. Not someone who is devoted to gods and indifferent to its own beings.

So, let's try driving this society to a point where it is no longer betrayed, no longer
fragmented, no longer raped. Where every man be empowered within himself, not faithless but replete with faith, where work be his only form of worship and where he finds god not in some golden temple, but within himself, in the hearts of his fellow beings. And as Dalai Lama said," This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness

Writing, For the love of it...

"Look, Alvah. Every man on earth has a soul of his own that nobody can stare at.Even the convicts in a penitentiary and the freaks in a side show. Everybody butme. My soul is spread in your Sunday scandal sheet--in three-color process. So I must have a substitute--even if it’s only a locked room and a few objects not to be pawed."- Gail Wynand.

There are some things in life which are truly yours, so much so that you have a craving towards it to an extent that seems illogical to others. There are some things in life which you truly like, things you would not want to mortgage with anything else. Things which gives you emotional security, beef you up. Things which you want to do without the fear of failure,rejection,pressure.Things which give you a soul.

Writing, surely gives me one. I don’t know when did I start writing, or ,when did my love for it start to bloom. May be it was the matter of inflating my pride by becoming the first boy in class to submit an essay, or reading those umpteen nancy drew, enid blyton novels that intrigued me like nothing before.

Writing has always given me release; writing has always given me relief. It has always been my guard against the unfair world (Yeah! The dramatic me, the world is always unfair). But I don’t know, there is something in those words that come streaming out from the pen, something in those words that come on the screen after punching my keyboard. I don’t know what. I don’t want to. People write to express themselves, but for me words not only expresses me, they raise me to a new level, give me a new high, I bet no alcohol could provide, give me happiness to a degree that trying to describe the same would be futile. It has always given me comfort in ways unknown to me, it has made me think that I’m not some piece of shit to be trampled on( especially after seeing those over intelligent kids at the IIT coaching class), it has made me believe that even my life can have a purpose, that even my life will have a purpose.

They say, blessed is one who finds the true love in his life and I can say with pride that I have found mine. I have always believed that the greatest gift a man can give himself, is by doing what he likes(that is, by making a career out of something he loves doing). I don’t have any sky breaking ambitions in this regard too, probably because this is the real me, with no strings attached. But, that does not mean that I won’t have a go at it, I surely will. We all do things which we are supposed to do, swim with the current, write the story of ourlife as everyone has been doing in our family for decades. But, sometimes the passion refuses to ebb, because it is unfair to betray something, you love the most.

Bright Tunnel

There is always a part inside us which refuses to budge,which refuses to evolve,which refuses to reason,something which is born out of defeciency. We have all fought little wars in this insignificant life of ours,wars in theory but silent struggle in practical.There is no acknowledgement of tears,no soothing hand,no consoling shoulders.Everything is tattered but only one thing remains.Memories, which haunts you in and out,the ignominy in which you are thrown into.But, out of this is born one fact which we so casually ignore,forget easily.

Through out this ordeal, there is only one person which stands by you,tries bolstering you with all he has,but have we ever given it a thought?Have we ever acknowledged his presence?we want to cling on to myriad things in life when in trouble or strees,but have you ever tried loving something which stays through, no matter how taut or loose.Have you ever tried loving YOU?Even if you have no one in your life, you'll have yourself with you, its silent presence through the long tearful nights can't be ignored.Loving yourself doesn't mean looking into the mirrorand admiring your tresses, it means looking into yourself and admiring your values, it means trying to lift yourself with each passing second, it is about being true to the highest in yourself(the last line, courtsey Ayn Rand),it is about being still loving yourself,even ifthe whole world has turned its back.But, who needs the whole world if you have got yourselfwith you?I mean it is not a wrong thing if people adore you, but your being with yourself is the most important thing, and on the contrary even if the whole world likes you, but you can't respect and love yourself, then all that love which is being heaped upon is of no use.And that age old adage still holds good, "If you can't help yourself, no one else can help you".We have seriously become so busy with our scheduele that we have stopped peeping into ourself, stopped analysing purselves, stopped loving ourselves.

Also, something about insecurities.This life will come in many phases, phases means a stage in your life where you begin your account with zero emotion(zero emotion with respect toother people)where people don't know what kind of person you are,where they don't know aboutyour insecurities, and that is where the catch is,you should never mingle your past withyour present,you should never let the unhappiness of past cloud the happiness of present,because it was your past,it was your problem, and even if it is your problem,It is your problem.Sounds selfish,eh?But this is just the way life functions.

And by chance,if you start feeling weak by feeling lonely, don't worry, just close your eyes and think about yourself,your values,your vision,your dreams.You will never feel alone.Ifyou have you and your dreams with you,what else do you need?

Of Insignificant wishes and Physics Problems...

Edit Post: The following is my first 55'er[A 55 word story].I liked the concept.

She entered the class,only to be dejected to see some one else sit beside him today. How could she sit with him today, without making it seem obvious. She looked at him. He, unaware of her presence was busy solving physics.

"Will you ever understand?"
"Ever?"
He was still busy solving physics.

Hand in Hand We Walk Alone...

Friends.Love.Loneliness.Sadness.Despair.Hope.

A simple question.What do you do, when the equilibrium of your life is disturbed?When you know that no one else but only you can give solace to yourself.Isn't it strange, we have our best friends,family,love but when something snaps your happiness or calmness instantly you do nothing but look at them with infinite hope encapsuled that they actually will do something to ward your present delirium away.And you know what the sad part is?They don't."Yaar!Tension mat le..."or/and "It's OK..Do well the next time"I mean fuck you.

What will happen if the next time doesn't come the next time.Or,the next time doesn't ever come?Ever.In your entire lifetime you'll come across very few people whom you can go to and cry your heart out.To whom you can go to and actually complain how unfair the life is, that sometimes enough is enough,without the fear of being judged,without the fear of being ridiculed silently.And when something terrible happens again you will know that you have he/she with you. It can happen with anyone, just like you taking a bath and the current goes off.It can be as sudden and unplanned as that, and you are left with only yourself to struggle.

Life in college is all about being with friends, being for friends.Wait.Is it really about being for friends?Or, is it only about laughing your gut out on some shallow topic which generally pertains to the male or the female genitals?About why some x girl is such a tart and who is going around with whom.Yes,they do make you feel good,you enjoy,you laugh a trifle.But,that's it.There's a difference in laughing and being happy.There's a difference in smiling from lips and smiling from heart. There's a difference.

They say, "laugh and the world laughs with you.Cry,and you cry alone"That's what it is.It is about being alone.You can be with people but still be alone.You can laugh, but still cry on inside, because every one's so busy that no one actually has the time, because no one cares,or no one wants to care, or even if they care , you don't know about it and you yourself are reluctant.Beacuse, you find it difficult to open yourself in front of his/her. Why? You just do.One of the many things you don't have an answer to do.No problems.Life continues.

Playing in the dusk, worries me
I look up at the sky
Gray is splashed all over it
I silently beg for the sunshine
Because, i want to play

Everyone thinks my game is overbut
I don't
I keep on playing unaware of the imminent darkness
I try deriving happiness from whatever i have

I look at others
They have all finished their game
Content,they are ready to go
Ready to go back home, succesfully
I stand amidst them trying to fend their pityful looks

Oh sun! where are you?
Please tear the clouds and come out for me once
Will you?
Dress up in yellow for me once
Will you?
You know why?
Because i want to play
I want to play

P.S: Now, don't you people start assuming that I'm nano seconds away from a suicide or something.It happens. Like all phases,this too shall pass. I know a blog isn't meant for stuff as depressing as this( and i have made my blog to be a confession box, which is not what blogs are for).But, since this blog is about my days in manipal, I thought capturing different hues will make for a good reading afterwards.(Different hues, my ass!The bastard just wants an excuse to write something depressing).

Wings

Edit Post : I don't know what the following is ( as in, in what genre it falls). I wanted it to be a poem,turned out quite differently.


Nestled in my mumma's nest
I see myriad things
High flying birds, tearing the skies
Noisy birds, dominating the ambience

I point my tender finger towards the eagle
Mumma! I want to fly like that
Ignoring the low flight of my brothers, she caresses me
Yes, you will my boy
Because, you are the best
You are the best

I flap my wings in excitement
Wouldn't it be exciting to go near the clouds?
Wouldn't I burn if I go too near the sun?
Where exactly does the sky end?

Son! you'll tell me about the story of the sun
The capriciousness of weather
The twinkling of stars
The secret of horizon
Because, you are the best
You are the best

But, when the time comes to fly
I'm reluctant to disturb my wings
Reluctant to leave the warmth of my nest
Reluctant to venture into a ruthless world
But, Mumma always told me
I'm the best
I'm the best

So, thus I fly
I'm taken aback by the audacity of the cold wind hurting my innocent wings
By my inability to fly any further
I have to be an eagle, I assure myself
Because, Mumma always told me
I'm the best
I'm the best

But, soon I find my patience giving away
My jaded wings wanting to rest
But, No!
I'm yet to find out the story of the sun
The secret of horizon
Because,Mumma told me
I'm the best
I'm the best

The noise of the birds has started deafening me now
The sight of eagles tearing the sky terrifies me
I see my brothers enjoying their low flight
My flight has become highly unstable
And it ends by me crashing into a tree
My wings have started to bleed
My breath teases me
I know my end

But, what was my fault?
I just wanted to soar high
I just wanted to be the best
And that's what even mumma said
That I'm the best
I'm the best


Mumma! why did you have to lie?

The Original Fakes

Whenever I go,wherever I go,I see people
And I always wonder, why there is so much pretension
I always wonder,why there is so much wonder artificiality
I wonder...

Why do people smear their faces with paint before going out?
Who are they afraid of?
Whom do they want to impress?

There is always a profound interest as to what should be worn,what should be not
Will white go with gray?
Or,will a blue black combination make me look handsome?
Had for once they cared to look,they would have known that it is their soul which needs some clothing
They perfect their body odour by Axe,Lomani and the oh-so-new perfumes launched by the bollywood stars
But,when your soul is naked and it stinks,no amount of Armani or Lomani is going to help
I want to say this to them
But,I can't
You see,the music is too loud
You can always buy a new set of cargos,low rise jeans,those perfect V-shaped T-shirts
But,till date I haven't seen one outlet which exchanges rotten morals

Their identity is so fickle that it changes,the moment they meet others
They are the actors in the real world
Eeeesh!You are not supposed to say this
Don't laugh loudly
Laugh with them
Be happy,when they're happy
Always do things, which you're supposed to do
Never do things,which you want to do

Everything they do has got strings attached
A scent of wannabeness
So,how many Vodka shots you had?
Three?Only three?
I had nine
And I'm just fine

But,whatever man
The party was great
I enjoyed a lot
Did you?

This particular piece was written by me in a SDOOP class :).

I will love you
And you won't even come to know
Masking my emotions by subtleties and stupidity
By indifference and callousness

You think I'm stupid
But,I'm not
You think I don't understand anything
But,I do

When we'll be alone or something
I will try to be as casual as I can
I will want to hold you
But,I won't
I will want to caress you
But,I won't

I will wait for you after the college
But,I won't make it obvious
I will care for you always
But,you won't even understand
I will wipe tears from your eyes
Without even touching you

And even if by mistake I may say something mawkish,giving you a hint about my feelings
And you would want to ask, what does that mean
I will start laughing loudly and change the topic
Even though I will be crying on the inside
Yes,I'll cry
And you won't even come to know

I will watch you from a distance
Imagining that you are mine
I will love you always
Well knowing the fact that I may not be loved back in return
Yes,I'll love you
And you won't even come to know

Intangible Dreams

Love.It is scary...you are in it and you won't even know...you want to get out, but its difficult..you try consoling your heart but its impossible...

Will some one tell me how one comes to know he is in love?Why don't the bells ring?Why isn't there's anything written anywhere?Why isn't it so obvious?

Why?

Why do I see a reason behind every action of yours...Why do I see incorrigible,intangible dreams...Why do I miss you so much...Is there any reason,any logic to back all this...I wish human heart was as simple as laws of thermodynamics...I wish there was any one good reason to be happy without you

I don't know what exactly I want from you...the emotions oscillate from friendship to love...from I like you to I love you...

You care for me,you understand me,you like me...but only as a friend...yes, a good friend at that you cared and pampered me so much that it confused me...I misunderstood your emotions...you portrayed your feelings merely as a friend...it had a certain layer of banality which I couldn't perceive...I know I'm stupid...

You are so cool,carefree...nothing affects you...the whole feeling of I'm -so-comfortable-with-myself airs...I wish I could have been like you...I wish I would not have liked you...

Sometimes, friendship effortlessly merges into love...sometimes, you can't get everything you want..No...sometimes you don't get everything you want

It kind of sounds strange isn't..even two close(both literally and figuratively)people conversing can have feelings of opposite magnitude towards each other...sometimes mathematics errs in finding the actual distance between the two individuals...sometimes you want to be sad just for the heck of it...

But in the end,it's all your fault.Why are you so good that I couldn't help myself falling in love with you...whatever happens,I will try not to love you.Trust me, it is difficult. But I'll try.

Unconditional Hatred

How I always wanted to say that I hate you,but you muffle my voice by ur boisterous beatings.
yes,you beat,you bring emotions,hue in a normal human's life..but still I hate you.My heart. I hate you.Now,don't ask why,how...

I hate you for making me believe that life can sometime(or all the time)be too boring,mechanical alone...that counting stars in sky will be much more fun if you have someone beside you...that if u have two or three fingers to caress during a long frosty evening walk, you'll know what pure,unadulterated happiness is like.

Without you my life is the same black,cynic...gaining happiness from things which can be gauged,seen and talked about...you make my insomniac soul see dreams...dreams which have a promise...a purpose...a meaning...a life...And that scares me.

Yes,dreams scares me...what if they don't come true?what if there is no hand to hold during those long walks?What if no one preserves their special smile for me?I don't want to count those stars alone...I'm bad at mathematics.

But when I ask you all this..you are as clueless as I'm...you only know how to dream..you only know how to convince me that life can be beautiful...that life is beautiful...trying to make me a good human being...that there is a world in someone's smile...that there are myriad promises waiting to be fulfilled in someone's eyes...that you just have to call...someone is waiting there for you...that someone will be waiting there for you...how can someone be so beautiful that you want to be a part of their life in your own small,insignificant ways;you say this to me frequently.

You've made me sad numerous times...shown me stars and took it away the moment i was to grab them and keep them forever...you captivated me,made me weak,dependent...told me that my happiness is linked with someone else.

No,I say...leave me...let me be black...but u don't listen...u slowly,naturally take me towards someone with whom you want my life to overlap with...someone with whom my life will begin and end with...for trying to make me part of a beautiful feeling called "love".

My Stupid Suicide Plan-Chetan Bhagats Article

I read this article when I was at a vulnerable point in my life,where everything was blurred,inaudible.One blow and life could've fallen apart.Just like that.But,all thanx to Chetan Bhagat(who many "literature loving" people consider a flash in the pan. I mean fuck you all.)He uplifted me.He made me feel better about myself."I'm not useless.What the heck.I'll give my life another chance,"I said and smiled amidst the tears.
Chetan,I just wanted to say thank you.
His article begins from the next line:

-------------------------
My Stupid Suicide Plan
Last week, an IITian committed suicide. People who commit suicide do it when they feel there's no future. But wait, isn't IIT the one place where a bright and shining future is a foregone conclusion? It just doesn't add up, does it? Why would a young, hardworking, bright student who has the world ahead of him do something like this? But the answer is this-in our constant reverence for the great institution (and I do believe IITs are great), we forget the dark side. And the dark side is that the IITs are afflicted by the quintessential Indian phenomenon of academic pressure, probably the highest in the world.

I can rant about the educational system and how it requires serious fixing, or I can address the immediate-try my best to prevent such suicides. For this column I have chosen the latter, and I do so with a personal story.

News of a suicide always brings back one particular childhood memory. I was 14 years old when I first seriously contemplated suicide. I had done badly in chemistry in the Class X half yearly exam. I was an IIT aspirant, and 68% was nowhere near what an IIT candidate should be getting. I don't know what had made me screw up the exam, but I did know this, I was going to kill myself. The only debate was about method. Ironically, chemistry offered a way. I had read about copper sulphate, and that it was both cheap and poisonous. Copper sulphate was available at the kirana store. I had it all worked out.

My rationale for killing myself was simple-nobody loved me, my chemistry score was awful, I had no future and what difference would it make to the world if I was not there. I bought the copper sulphate for two rupees-probably the cheapest exit strategy in the world.I didn't do it for two reasons. One, I had a casual chat with the aunty next door about copper sulphate, and my knowledgeable aunty knew about a woman who had died that way. She said it was the most painful death possible, all your veins burst and you suffer for hours. This tale made my insides shudder. Second, on the day I was to do it, I noticed a street dog outside my house being teased by the neighborhood kids as he hunted for scraps of food. Nobody loved him. It would make no difference to the world if the dog wasn't there. And I was pretty sure that its chemistry score would be awful. Yet, the dog wasn't trotting off to the kirana store. He was only interested in figuring out a strategy for his next meal. And when he was full, he merely curled up in a corner with one eye open, clearly content and not giving a damn about the world. If he wasn't planning to die anytime soon what the hell was I ranting about? I threw the copper sulphate in the bin. It
was the best two bucks I ever wasted.

So why did I tell you this story? Because sometimes the pressure gets too much; like it did for the IITian who couldn't take it no more. On the day he took that dreadful decision, his family and friends were shattered, and India lost a wonderful, bright child. And as the silly but true copper sulphate story tells you-it could happen to any of us or those around us.

So please be on the lookout, if you see a distressed young soul, lend a supportive, non-judgmental ear. When I look back, I thank that aunt and that dog for unwittingly saving my life. If God wanted us to take our own life, he would have provided a power off button. He didn't, so have faith and let his plan for you unfold. Because no matter how tough life gets and how much it hurts, if street dogs don't give up, there is no reason why we, the smart species, should. Makes sense right?

Modest Expectations

Why do people expect something?I always wonder.Anytime.Everytime.Or, why do I expect? Everytime.Anytime.For the perfect friends,for the perfect family, for the perfect relations,for the perfect marks.Why do I need everything that has to be the best? No, nothing short will do.It just has to be right there,something which should match my fucking standards.Standards which I have set for myself in past few months, not knowing why,putting myself under a lot of stress unncessarily.Sometimes, you feel enough is enough(and trust me, i have felt this a lot of times).No, i don't want to do this.No.Let me be myself.Atleast for the moment.Atleast for now. But no. You've to do things that will make you live in a "respectable" fashion.Always.Always.Always.

I come up with the above inexplicable emotions just because I did some of the questions in semester exams wrong.Or,the exam didn't go as I would like it to.I was so terribly upset.I mean if all it take is some stupid question to disturb your equilibrium, then something is wrong with you.I can't go to anyone, say anything. Everything will sound so mechanical,boring,childish,insignificant. "C'mon Dude! It's just a few questions.Get a life". That is what it is. Just a few questions.But that is not the point.It is not about a few questions, it is about few things. It is how do you prioritise things in life,or how do have i prioritised things in my own life.Why have I given some things unnecessary importance ?Why do i want to cling to certain things everytime?Why do my world revolves around it? What is it?

You know who I envy the most?No,not the toppers,not the millionaries(for roaming around in perfect cars with hot models),not the super intelligent brainy who wears braces and knows the answers to all the questions,not the handsome hunks who sweep the most gorgeous girls of their feet.None of them.

I envy people who are content with themselves.No matter what they are,how they are,they accept themselves.They love themselves unconditionallyand they don't care what other says or feel.I know many people might say this attitude as ignorance,cowardice,whatever.But if u ask me I want to be like them.I don't want to worry everytime.I don't want to be unhappy most of the time.

I'm upset with myself(not anything new,but anyways).I'm upset with myself for being so unrelenting to myself all the times.For pushing me into doing things I don't want to sometimes.For worrying infinitely over things which can't be helped.For fussing over small things,for worrying about my future everytime,for me wanting to like someone.For me wanting to have a perfect life!

Tanul,you still have chance.Redeem yourself.