How I always wanted to say that I hate you,but you muffle my voice by ur boisterous beatings.
yes,you beat,you bring emotions,hue in a normal human's life..but still I hate you.My heart. I hate you.Now,don't ask why,how...
I hate you for making me believe that life can sometime(or all the time)be too boring,mechanical alone...that counting stars in sky will be much more fun if you have someone beside you...that if u have two or three fingers to caress during a long frosty evening walk, you'll know what pure,unadulterated happiness is like.
Without you my life is the same black,cynic...gaining happiness from things which can be gauged,seen and talked about...you make my insomniac soul see dreams...dreams which have a promise...a purpose...a meaning...a life...And that scares me.
Yes,dreams scares me...what if they don't come true?what if there is no hand to hold during those long walks?What if no one preserves their special smile for me?I don't want to count those stars alone...I'm bad at mathematics.
But when I ask you all this..you are as clueless as I'm...you only know how to dream..you only know how to convince me that life can be beautiful...that life is beautiful...trying to make me a good human being...that there is a world in someone's smile...that there are myriad promises waiting to be fulfilled in someone's eyes...that you just have to call...someone is waiting there for you...that someone will be waiting there for you...how can someone be so beautiful that you want to be a part of their life in your own small,insignificant ways;you say this to me frequently.
You've made me sad numerous times...shown me stars and took it away the moment i was to grab them and keep them forever...you captivated me,made me weak,dependent...told me that my happiness is linked with someone else.
No,I say...leave me...let me be black...but u don't listen...u slowly,naturally take me towards someone with whom you want my life to overlap with...someone with whom my life will begin and end with...for trying to make me part of a beautiful feeling called "love".
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5 comments:
Oh, I loved this post.
(Do you remember me? We've met only once. LnD's 'pendemonium', remember?)
thanx a ton..
yeah..i do remember u know...btw,i dint know ur name..how come u know mine?btw,can u plz temme about other creative writing contests(if any)in the near future to be held in MIT... :)
I didn't remember your name either. I met Vivek one day. I asked him his name and then, yours.
There was another pendemonium last week.( You have hols now, right?)
Shit! missed the pendemonium...u must hv participated in that...yeah, hv holidays right now...look fwd to meet u in manipal...
Right...See ya!
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