Hand in Hand We Walk Alone...

Friends.Love.Loneliness.Sadness.Despair.Hope.

A simple question.What do you do, when the equilibrium of your life is disturbed?When you know that no one else but only you can give solace to yourself.Isn't it strange, we have our best friends,family,love but when something snaps your happiness or calmness instantly you do nothing but look at them with infinite hope encapsuled that they actually will do something to ward your present delirium away.And you know what the sad part is?They don't."Yaar!Tension mat le..."or/and "It's OK..Do well the next time"I mean fuck you.

What will happen if the next time doesn't come the next time.Or,the next time doesn't ever come?Ever.In your entire lifetime you'll come across very few people whom you can go to and cry your heart out.To whom you can go to and actually complain how unfair the life is, that sometimes enough is enough,without the fear of being judged,without the fear of being ridiculed silently.And when something terrible happens again you will know that you have he/she with you. It can happen with anyone, just like you taking a bath and the current goes off.It can be as sudden and unplanned as that, and you are left with only yourself to struggle.

Life in college is all about being with friends, being for friends.Wait.Is it really about being for friends?Or, is it only about laughing your gut out on some shallow topic which generally pertains to the male or the female genitals?About why some x girl is such a tart and who is going around with whom.Yes,they do make you feel good,you enjoy,you laugh a trifle.But,that's it.There's a difference in laughing and being happy.There's a difference in smiling from lips and smiling from heart. There's a difference.

They say, "laugh and the world laughs with you.Cry,and you cry alone"That's what it is.It is about being alone.You can be with people but still be alone.You can laugh, but still cry on inside, because every one's so busy that no one actually has the time, because no one cares,or no one wants to care, or even if they care , you don't know about it and you yourself are reluctant.Beacuse, you find it difficult to open yourself in front of his/her. Why? You just do.One of the many things you don't have an answer to do.No problems.Life continues.

Playing in the dusk, worries me
I look up at the sky
Gray is splashed all over it
I silently beg for the sunshine
Because, i want to play

Everyone thinks my game is overbut
I don't
I keep on playing unaware of the imminent darkness
I try deriving happiness from whatever i have

I look at others
They have all finished their game
Content,they are ready to go
Ready to go back home, succesfully
I stand amidst them trying to fend their pityful looks

Oh sun! where are you?
Please tear the clouds and come out for me once
Will you?
Dress up in yellow for me once
Will you?
You know why?
Because i want to play
I want to play

P.S: Now, don't you people start assuming that I'm nano seconds away from a suicide or something.It happens. Like all phases,this too shall pass. I know a blog isn't meant for stuff as depressing as this( and i have made my blog to be a confession box, which is not what blogs are for).But, since this blog is about my days in manipal, I thought capturing different hues will make for a good reading afterwards.(Different hues, my ass!The bastard just wants an excuse to write something depressing).